Inspired by The Real Housewife of Caroline County, I’m participating in #AskAwayFriday, where two bloggers exchange questions to get all up in each other’s business. This week Elaine and I swapped questions.
Look! An Elaine sandwich!
Read her answers here.
If you could live anywhere but where you live now, where would it be?
Depends on when you ask. Right now, -11 degrees is making me say someplace tropical, with low humidity, where I could walk to the beach. But usually, I’d choose a really big farmhouse on a ranch with lots of animals and land. And wifi.
What are three of your favorite books?
This is really hard. Even just naming three has me sweating because there’s just no way. I’ve written and rewritten this list a good 12 times and decided to just stop. There’s no way I can answer this and be satisfied with the three I’ve chosen, so these were the last three I wrote. I’ma allow it.
House of Sand and Fog, Andre Dubus III (The movie was fantastic too).
The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
What is your favorite dessert?
Sweet potato pie with Cool Whip. Actually, it’s the Cool Whip. I have no idea what it’s made of and I don’t want to know, but it makes every dessert better.
Who would you call first if tragedy struck?
My husband. I call him with all the mundane things, so I know naturally my first inclination would be to call him. Now, if the tragedy involved him? I will probably say to him, damn, son, who I’ma call now? One of my sisters probably.
What is your dream job?
I gave y’all a glimpse of my Broadway desires here. I can see my name in lights, me dancing across a stage, not singing so much, but OK, here’s a good example: do you find yourself dancing when Beyonce does? Do you look at ice skaters like I can do that? THAT’S what I see when I think of myself on Broadway. High kicks and humor. (If you don’t see yourself as a Rockette, an Alvin Ailey dancer, or acting opposite Hugh Panaro in The Phantom of the Opera, I don’t know what to tell you).
What is one dish you make really well?
Describe a typical day.
Wake up when alarm goes off at 5:45. Hit snooze. Groan. Remain in bed. Hit snooze. Groan. Glance at clock, bolt up. [If I showered the night before, things continue thusly]: Pee. Wash face and hands, brush teeth, try to remember deodorant. [If I ironed the night before, things continue thusly]: Get dressed, grab a yogurt, banana, lunch. Attempt to avoid the boy because mornings work better when I’m not around.
Run to bus stop. NO AMOUNT OF DO IT THE NIGHTBEFORENESS CHANGES THE RUNNING TO THE BUS STOP.
Get on bus. Get to subway. Place life and timely arrival at work in Metro’s hands.
Arrive at work. Pretend to work. Think wistfully about leaving work. Do some work. Pretend to do the rest of the work. Go out to get lunch because I ate the lunch I brought as an after breakfast snack because by 10:00 the 7:30 yogurt and banana make my stomach say this is bullshit.
Leave work! More train and bus. Home! Help with homework. Make dinner. Break up arguments. Listen to all the original songs by children. Bedtime. Books. Attempt to not pass out on sofa. Pass out on sofa.
[If neither shower nor ironing occurred the night before, there's the whore's bath, sniff tests, and wrinkles.]
What is your favorite movie and why?
Much like the books question, it’s hard to limit this to one. I don’t think I actually have an all-time favorite movie. I feel like saying The Princess Bride is so typical but it’s the first thing that came to mind and I do truly love it.
Do you have a little-known skill? What is it?
I can spell really well. Like, odd, obscure words with silent letters.
What is the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in the past few years, publicly or privately?
I can’t believe I’m sharing this again, but read this.
I’m really enjoying this series. Join us next week if you can!