Wanna See My Butt?

I thought I was mistaken when the boy said this to his father the other night. I was sure I misheard him until I heard my husband say, “No, I do not want to see your butt. Wait, did you just ask if I want to see your butt?” Oh.

I don’t know what it is lately. Is it just that he’s three? I will accept that as an answer for his recent determination to bare his stomach and, thankfully, ask before showing his bottom. He is fascinated with butts and all that butts can do so yes, of course, farting is common discussion. The fact that we don’t need to announce our wind is often talked about (even though sometimes it announces itself and COME ON, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT?)

It’s funny most times. Other times it’s a bit unnerving as I begin to wonder if he is randomly pulling down his pants at school.

No one should have “Why is your butt out?” be a common refrain in her home.

This doesn’t mean I’ll miss the opportunity to make an inappropriate joke, though:

Your Woody is Showing.



  1. says

    If you want a classroom full of kids to giggle, all you need to do is say the word “butt”. Butt humor is a hit and to be honest…it usually gets most of us laughing as adults too! ;-)

    • says

      When I went to space camp w/my daughter last summer, one of the camp employees, an older woman who’d taught them to build working rockets, said to a group of sixth grade boys and girls: Now let’s go bust off our rockets! I think it took them a good 20 minutes to calm down. Absolute hysterics.

    • says

      He’s starting to gyrate and put his butt on the girls. Their screams and yells of ew only seem to fuel him. He pulls up his shirt when dancing to show his…what? His three pack? I am pretty sure I haven’t let him watch Boogie Nights yet, so I’m thinking I’m in for some trouble in years ahead.

    • says

      I put on Facebook one day: something I thought I’d never say — please take your microphone out of my butt. OBSESSED. He has to announce farts and please don’t have gas around him YOU FARTED YOU FARTED MOMMY YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU FARTED AND EW YOU STINK.

    • says

      I must admit that we kind of keep it going because we laugh at him and usually join in. He’s into having his hands in his pants now though and that’s one thing that is NOT funny: butthands!

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