Wordful Wednesday: When Your School Pictures Show Your Mom Wasn’t Paying Attention

Zoe and Zaid attend the same elementary school. Pictures this year had the option for individual and sibling photos. Zoe opted for pictures with her brother only. Sweet.

Picture day morning she said she couldn’t find the shirt she’d wanted to wear. She’d asked me the night before and though I did look for it briefly, I wasn’t wading through the clean, folded clothes on the chairs in her bedroom. I’d asked her to put those away. If she’d put them away she’d know where the shirt was. Oh well, wear a different shirt. A few minutes later, as I rushed, late as usual, to leave for work, she ran by with a shirt. My mind calculated: long sleeved, black. There’s something written across the front, but…what? Never mind. Remember to smile, have a good day, and I left.

Oh, that shirt. It is long sleeved. It is black. And there is definitely something written across the front.

It reads “babe.”

To my perfect parenting credit, this was not a shirt I purchased. It was a cousin hand me down and worn only in the house. That morning, I remembered it had something across the front but I mistook it for another shirt that has The Greatest across the chest.

So. Let’s think about this a minute. I have allowed my fourth grader to seal this memory in time with a photo with her younger brother in which she is wearing a shirt declaring her babeness. I immediately ran to the dictionary. There has to be another word that starts with “bab” that I can TELL MY FATHER THE SHIRT SAYS. I tried to pretend the second b read “la” or “lc” or “lo” but really, I’m kind of limited: balance? Balcony? Baloney? No. Besides, it’s clearly “bab.”

Baba? No. Babar – Can I Photoshop a picture of an elephant on her shirt? No. Baboon? Babushka? Babysitter?

I give up. I’m going with Babbler.

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  1. Oh, the stories we could tell!

    My mom let me dress as a boy and never said a word. Not because she was so cool but because she never even noticed.

    I have pictures, and you’d think she’d initiate a conversation, at the very least, right?

    Oh, the stories we could tell.

  2. Well…they are so precious! This is hilarious. I would have done the same thing. Those picture days, when they were young, always snuck up on me. It’s a fantastic memory and a great story for the future. Right?

  3. Now you have to change her name to Barbara so you can claim it says “Babs”. Either that, or she has to pretend to appreciate Streisand.

  4. LOL. I love you.

  5. hahaha – very funny. Just photo shop(clone) over it and make the shirt all black. But save the original to laugh at when she is grown.

  6. This cracks me up! My son and I had picked out the cutest little outfit for picture day this fall. He was proud of it and excited to wear it. I got the pictures back, and he never even took off his jacket! What?!

  7. Ha! When Miss D. was in 3rd grade, she woke up on picture day only to discover that her father (after cleaning the hamster cage the night before) had forgotten to latch the cage. Hamster Escapee=Hysterical Sobbing. She went to school red-eyed and snotty. Can you say re-takes?

  8. That picture is as adorable as you are hilarious – I love it! I thought of no less than 30 responses to what her shirt could say but not a one was funny. Babel, babs (she a big Streisand fan?), Babylon, but I would go with baby love. It’s sweet.

  9. As long as she’s not juicy, I think you’re good.

  10. Hahahaha. Oh, shit. That’s great. I agree with Poppy. It could have been juicy. Juicy is way worse.

  11. Juicy is WAY worse. Maybe it’s just mispelled French? Bebe is better, oui?
    But she is beautiful, that’s the thing, and the babe in the picture with her, in his argyle? Enough to make a gal wish that she were of child-bearing years.
    That’s it! Tell the grandparents that she’s wearing the shirt IN HONOR OF HER BROTHER.

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