Maybe we should have never introduced it. I remember his infancy distinctly: he didn’t initially take to the pacifier. Now, nearly three years later, I’m wondering why I forced it on him and why I’m in the position of now forcing him off it.
I am embarrassed. I never thought I would be “that mother.” You know, the one I was silently judging before I was her, the one whose big kid “should have” been pacifier weaned already. Funny how things change. I am also almost the mother whose child rides in the stroller with his feet dragging. Almost. I still have some dignity.
I’ve talked about this before. And then I talked about how he’s ready for head start because he can count and knows his letters and is probably a prodigy and I haven’t figured it out yet. And yet, this is still happening:
In fact, this boy seems to be relying on the pacifier, his blanket, and his bear an awful lot lately.
He only has one “pass” and uses it only at home at nap and bedtime. He doesn’t use it at school and he doesn’t take it when he spends the night with family. So, clearly, it’s us (more specifically, it’s me). But lately, he’s been asking for it outside of bedtime. He’s been having more meltdowns and at their end, his first request is for his pass, then either the blanket or the bear, or both; sometimes he asks for all three. I have no clue what’s going on with him.
I snipped the sides of the pass last night. He put it in his mouth, took it out, looked it over, put it back in, laid down. He’ll never fall for the pacifier fairy or giving it to needy babies. I’ve considered a bribe: a new toy if he throws it away. I’ve considered “losing” it. I’ve considered soaking it in something like coffee so it is displeasing. A friend suggested snipping the end to eliminate the suction. I thought I’d done that with the sides!
The girls used pacifiers too. We took it from our oldest daughter when she turned one. She screamed “My pass! Want my paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaass!” for three nights and then things went back to normal. The middle girl simply said OK when I asked her to put hers in the trash at 18 months. And now here we are at almost 3 and he shows no signs of being able to split with the pass. I’ve noticed a slight overbite starting to develop. I know it’s time, especially since he is fully able to fall asleep without it as evidenced at daycare every day.
I’m just having a hard time reconciling myself with purposely causing him angst. Oh, he is going to pitch a fit never before seen this side of Earth once it’s gone. I fully intend for it to be gone before he starts at the elementary school next month, even if we have to go cold turkey. But the getting there part? That’s what I can’t imagine. When he cries now, I simply can’t take it (unless he’s done something so outrageous that my You Must Have Lost Your Mind; Your Cries Have No Effect On Me force field comes up). I don’t know why this is proving to be so different from our experiences with the girls. Is it because he is our (maybe) last? I don’t know. All I know is it’s time to get rid of the pass and I simply don’t know how (how = an avenue unlikely to end in tears from him, me, or both).