Do you remember the gold stars we used to get in elementary school? I cherished those stars. Receiving a star meant I’d done something well. Stars meant I was a good girl, I listened, I completed my assignments, I worked well with others. I was always proud to bring home a gold star on a homework sheet. Later, as the stars changed colors (gold was for babies!), I still felt proud when I received one. Why, as adults, don’t we still get a star when we do something well? Is it that upon entering adulthood there are expected things, things we’re supposed to want to do like go to work, mow our lawn, take regular showers? I am clearly missing the gene that regulates what one should simply “do” upon entering adulthood. I need incentives. It would be nice, when I show up to work, to receive a star for doing so (because I don’t want to do so. Give me a star for effort). I took a shower today. Reward me (because this could get bad fast). I see no reason to not be congratulated for folding the laundry and putting it away. Yes, I am supposed to do it. That doesn’t make it any easier. Adulthood sucks. Why do all these envelopes from the mail have my name on them?
I guarantee you if I were to put up a star chart in my office people would be clamoring to do things to earn stars. Rewards are good, even for adults. As adults, we get stars in the form of raises or bonuses at work, public accolades, good credit scores, nice homes. I’m not saying we should get something for nothing, but, wait, OK, yes, sometimes I want something for nothing. I want something for doing the things I’m “supposed” to do just because I actually did them.
One such thing I would like congratulations on is remaining within the confines of my self-imposed weekly budget. I usually do pretty well with this budget but, it requires my taking lunch (and actually eating that lunch rather than visiting the overpriced cafeteria downstairs. Seriously, they charge $.10 for a paper plate!). At the start of the budget it used to go like this:
Monday: Take nothing because Sunday nights are stupid, Monday mornings are stupider, and I do not prepare well.
Tuesday: Take lunch but buy a pizza.
Wednesday: Take lunch but eat only part of it, supplementing the part I don’t want with a $3 baked potato. (The fact that I can buy a 5 lb bag of potatoes from the grocery store for under $3 is not lost on me).
Thursday: Take nothing because, well, there’s no real reason.
Friday: Take nothing because it’s Friday and I should be rewarded for not having thrown my easy button at anyone’s forehead all week. More pizza!
This can result in well over $30 for the week. Pizzas are $6.50+ and the hot bar is $7/lb. The hell? No gold stars will be given. But, I buckled down this week:
Monday: Brought leftovers from Sunday — Sausage, broccoli, and rice.
Tuesday: Brought leftovers from Monday — Chicken, mashed potatoes, and string beans.
Wednesday: Canned soup. (This soup tasted like dirty, boiled fingernails with no salt. Note the low fat. It must stand for yuck). To reward myself for finishing the whole can, I went downstairs and bought a pizza (and a cookie).
Thursday: Broke down and bought the broccoli and cheese soup from the cafeteria.
Friday: Brought barbecued chicken and cabbage. See? I can be a good girl. In fact, that foil blob to the far left is a bagel I brought for breakfast.
So, it’s not a perfect week by far, but it’s better than before. I don’t need a huge star, ostentatiously announcing to other lax adults that I am better than them. No, something small will do, just a reminder that I keep showing up trying to find my footing in the land of adulthood. This place needs lightboxes; everyone seems depressed. They must get those same envelopes.
I am so about to buy these.
And this is just a random fingerpainting the middle girl did years ago that I just can’t part with. It’s got to be five years old and has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
I am SO going to buy myself some gold stars. I’m thinking that this will inspire me to exercise! Every day I actually manage to move my ass in a productive way, I get a gold star to wear on my shirt for all the world to see. This could work!
“I am clearly missing the gene that regulates what one should simply “do” upon entering adulthood.” Me too! I love your gold star idea. Just tell us we’re doing a good job, please. Especially with the friggin’ laundry! (I award you one for the putting away part!)
Your food from home makes me hungry!
This need for a gold star – really is a personality thing. Because, I don’t care for gold stars. When I was a kid I didn’t raise my hand when I knew the answers (side note: I always knew the answers). I didn’t raise my hand because I didn’t care for the attention.
My personality yearns for the Neil Carter “Gimme a Break” and “ig’ please” me. In my career, I’ve noticed when I do something well, they add on more responsibilities. In my parenting, I’ve noticed when I taxi kids around without complaining, they think I love driving and shouldn’t mind dropping them off at the mall (then come back in a few hours). I want to be able to do right and do it well without having junk added on to my already junk. So… damn da star – I rather be able to go to the bar with friends and argue over whether Lauryn is sincerely mental or just high all the time… Gimme a Break Please. :-)
Hm. I do see your point. I was talking with a friend earlier about curing her boredom at work and I had to ask, “how do you fix it without sending the message that you are able to take on MORE work?” So yeah, I don’t need anyone knowing I’ve done a good job if it’s going to give me more jobs to do. It’s more for me, my own knowing that I didn’t buy the pizza this week. But, perhaps yes, it may be personality based (although I don’t imagine I’d be like Gretchen, wearing the star on my shirt. I just want the star somewhere visible to remind me that I washed my ass that day.
I need a boat load of stars of late.
I’m in a funk.
That may help….can’t hurt.
Just imagine, Peg: little gold stars that only you can see that remind you you deserve recognition for not punching people in the throat. It’s ingenious really.
You do deserve gold stars. Never under estimate the worth of a pat on the back in the form of a star. I think it’s really, really difficult to bring a lunch. In fact, I eat HUGE dinners because most days I can’t bring myself to eat left overs for lunch and I’m too lazy to make something.
Thank you for that acknowledgement, Angie; it is definitely harder than “just take your lunch.” I am laughing because it’s harder when I’m home to eat what’s there than it is to not buy when I’m at work. I used to have a determined refusal toward all leftovers (I still do to some things b/c not everything can be reheated and still taste good). There were quite a few days where I simply skipped lunch like you and had a huge dinner to compensate, but then I’d find myself dragging so much during the day. I think it’s time to go back to PB&J or tuna just to say I had lunch and then do it up at dinner. I’ll figure it out eventually. Right?
Boiled fingernails with no salt!! Oh my!! You did deserve a slice of pizza AND the cookie! Sounds horrible. Low fat does stand for yuck.
Good job with sticking to your budget. I am finally getting better with sticking to mine too. It is sooo very hard though! Why didn’t we win that MegaMillions a few weeks back?!
I suppose we could have claimed to have won it, then lost the ticket behind the McFlurry machine. Wait…
You’ve inspired me to head off and buy myself some stars. I need a few just for getting out of bed this week:)
You do! I do not take it for granted what others may be going through to actually maintain a vertical position.
I’m going to put stars ON EVERYTHING. You know, for going to the bathroom and eating with utensils.
Also, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your latest comment on my crankypants post. FUCK CAPITAL ONE. Seriously. Assholes.
You are truly a gold star.
XOXOXO
I will totally give you a gold star for this blog post!!
My doctor on my weight loss program kept gold stars in his desk, and he gave me one when I was halfway through my program. A previous patient had given them to him, saying more people need gold stars in their lives. I am still SO proud of that star I earned.
Yes, let’s talk about how being an adult sucks. I am perpetually bitter that my “free time” is spent doing things like cleaning the apartment, grocery shopping, and meal planning. IS FREE TIME A THING PEOPLE HAVE? I think not, dammit. I was going to share a tip – chop a bunch of veggies on Sunday afternoon so salads are easy to throw together for lunch, which is what I do – but let’s be real. Even that sucks when it comes time to to it. And you know what sucks more? Eating salads for lunch. So ignore me. I feel your pain.
I love this! I am investing in some gold stars!