We talk so often about breakups, but rarely do we discuss the breakups we experience from friends, whether we leave the friendship or are kicked aside. I have a group of women friends without whom I would be utterly lost. I can’t take all the inane crap that runs through my head to my husband. I need them. Losing one of them would be like a romantic relationship breakup, whether that sounds weird to you or not.
I share my life, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, with these women. To no longer have that person, to no longer be able to be there for that person, is hard to imagine. And yet, it happens, for various reasons. Kids, husbands, moving. Relationships change. People change. Friendships evolve. Sometimes, unfortunately, the evolution is only one-sided and one friend decides the friendship is no longer worth the effort. It hurts.
I’ve lost and left friends for various reasons. There was the time a friend thought I didn’t want to repay her a small loan. There was the time a friend refused to repay me a small loan. There was the time I wasn’t being a good enough friend. There was the time a friend I spent every day with went underground after high school without a word and didn’t resurface until two years ago. The HerStories Project presents in September My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends. I’m proud to say I’m included in this anthology with a piece about losing a friendship and having no choice in the matter. Ties were severed, burned, stepped on, shredded, then littered into a landfill of friendship resumption impossibility.
The book is available for pre-sale now. It is filled with heartfelt, exploratory, and funny tales of friendship loss between women. Order it. You won’t be sorry. My piece, especially, isn’t typical. Shocking, I know.
Have you ever thought something as a child, realized it wasn’t true, but decided to keep believing? I’m not talking about Santa or the Tooth Fairy, ordinary made up things. I’m talking about a blatant, this ain’t true and you know it, thing. That’s what Lionel Richie and my father have in common. Go to Midlife Mixtape and read my post about an old album that I still play (hint: it’s the Commodores because Lionel/daddy). Then tell me there whether you know what I mean. Actually, tell me you understand even if you don’t. I’m in a needy mood.
My friend Laura has a guest writing series, Writing Vows, on her blog Mommy Miracles. I started writing a post that was cheeky, but it turned serious. Probably my husband irked me and it affected the tone of the piece. Typical. I tried to intertwine the funny and murderous, because no marriage can survive on drama or hilarity alone — you gotta have both. Well, maybe not the murder part.
Here’s my post, Music Magic Murder. Visit and let me know if you too understand that there’s a thin line between love and bludgeoning your spouse.